|Welcome to Saint Paul, Ya'll!|
|A Blunt Object Exclusive!|
Presenting the Top Secret RNC rejected logos!
See them up close!
|Conservatives are the new moral relativists!|
God hates you and your knocked up kids!
That makes you an average American!
Now we can identify with you!
|After you're offended . . .|
|don't forget to be ashamed too!|
|Then see The Bridges of Hennepin County!|
|Children are the future! You're next!|
|Now go to to the next page!|
|We're givin' you a numba an' takin' 'way yer name!|